The Great
Easter Egg Hunt
by Ken Jones
7:30 p.m. at the Hartington City Auditorium
Doors open at 6:30 p.m.
Friday, April 1st, 2005
Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
Friday, April 8th, 2005
Saturday, April 9th, 2005
$7 for Adults // $3 for Children 11 and Under
The action of the play occurs on
Easter Day at a City Park in the small town of Umatilla, which lies between Eustis and
Ocala, just a little way from Mount
Dora
. The time
is the present.
NOTE: The cities and
towns mentioned in the play are real, but the characters are purely fictional.
Any similarities are coincidental.
This
comedy centers around an Annual Easter Egg Hunt. Citizens vie for the ultimate
prize attainable in Umatilla, Florida--the Golden Egg. Meanwhile Horseshoe
and Clem Dumpling seek to avenge their shattered hopes of married bliss, the
town flirt chases every man except for the one who is in love with her and two
young lovers struggle to escape this small town. Judge Pulander
officiates, but is soon overwhelmed by apple and cypress bark cider. The
Rifle Association initiates a blood feud while the Women's Club fans the fire
with gossip. The Great Easter Egg Hunt is a comic journey through one day
in an isolated town that reflects the greed, cowardice, regret, avarice, love,
stupidity, hope, passion and drama of life in America.
CAST OF "CHARACTERS"
JUDGE BUFORD PULANDER ( Wally
Ulrich ): Judge of the Umatilla
Circuit Court. Unless he’s been
drinking, he is a fair and honest judge. However,
the town still mourns the passing of Mrs. Dowdy Frumpmeir whom, after allowing a
shopping cart to roll into a car in the parking lot of Prickerson’s drug
store, was sentenced to death by the Judge.
(A bottle of ’63 Jack Daniels was later found in his desk.)
HELEN NEELEY ( Shelley Lammers ): The
town gossip. As President of the
Umatilla P.T.A. she is most noted for bringing the first non-American to
Umatilla. No one can remember the
man’s name, but his accent will never be forgotten.
FAYE RUMPLE ( Sally Opfer ): Helen
Neeley’s faithful sidekick. Faye
spends most of her time shuttling any one of her fifteen children to various
locations. She has been recognized
by the mayor and the town council as “Umatilla’s Most Fertile” for the
past six years.
WILL FEREBEE ( Aaron Kuchta ): An
intelligent young man. After taking
an I.Q. examination, Will was offered a full scholarship to
Harvard
University
. There
will be a ballot at the town elections in an attempt to rename the Umatilla
Public Library after him. He says he
will decline the honor.
PERRY MONROE ( Maddie Bromwich ): An
attractive, smart young woman. Her
goal in life is to leave Umatilla. At
the Eustis State Fair, she shocked the community with a reading of her
essay—“I Want More Than One Mall.” It’s
rumored that one elderly woman fainted at the very notion.
Perry has been dating Will since their freshman year of high school.
CLEM DUMPLING ( Bill Heimes ): A
man who was raised by cows. A
graduate of the third grade, Clem, has made his living by creating pine cone
sculptures, which he sells at the local Alligator Farm and Reptile House.
HORSESHOE DUMPLING ( Tom Grube ): Second
only to his brother in ignorance. It
is said that he is the philosopher of the family.
After receiving a blow to the head during a hog tossing competition, he
has been known for his insightful remarks. He
is credited with the statement—“He bothers me … therefore he is.”
HORVANA DWIGHT ( Ronnette Lammers ): The
town flirt. A graduate of the Mount
Dora Beauty and
Charm
School
, Horvana is a hard-working, career oriented business
woman. Her savings, along with an
endowment from the late Mr. Buddy Grabs of Buddy Grabs Trout Boats, has enabled
her to branch out into real estate. Primarily,
her holdings are tied up in trailer parks.
JED PERRINE ( Delon Kathol ): A
very large, but sensitive man. Jed
is said to have the “magic touch” when it comes to farming.
However, at Piggo’s Bar & Grill, Jed became less sensitive when the
locals referred to his “magic touch” in relation to his romantic involvement
with Horvana. Piggo’s has since
been closed for renovations.
LORETTA PIKEWATER ( Cynthia Miller ):
A woman who enjoys worrying. A
former Miss Grapefruit, Loretta is now happily married with one child, Ratius,
and lives in the old armory building which was gutted by the great fire of
’47. Ratius has been diagnosed as
a hyperactive child, and is often seen running with a pack of wild dogs near
Highway 441.
LAMBIE MONROE ( Marcy Kollars ): A
kind and caring woman. After the
death of her husband, Lambie attended
Orange
County
Community College
where she earned her degree as a nurse’s aide.
She is also Umatilla’s first volunteer firewoman and part-time
ambulance driver. She has one
daughter, Perry.
MR. WAXLEY ( Lee Carl ): President
of the Umatilla Rifle Association. Ralph
Waxley is a tractor mechanic. It is
rumored that he sometimes works at the State Penitentiary near Tallahassee, but
only once every three months or so, and only very late at night.
He is the father of five boys. He
is, however, not on speaking terms with two of the five young men.
MR. PARNELL ( Lucas Lauer ): Vice-President
of the Umatilla Rifle Association. Herring
Parnell owns and runs Parnell’s Meats and Seafood.
In the past year, this meat store has been closed by the Board of Health
six times for violations including: substitution
of alligator meat for veal, unsanitary conditions, and unidentifiable particles
in the ground chuck. Parnell now
displays the sign: “I’ll grind
it again for free. Just to be
safe.”
MR. GILBERT ( Tyler Kruse ): Parnell’s
faithful sidekick. Gil Gilbert
supervises the municipal public pool during the summer months, and during the
winter operates an adult bookstore one mile north of the Umatilla city line.
Gilbert is known nationally for his unprecedented collection of used
surgical gloves and equipment. He
gives guided tours on Wednesdays and Fridays between
8:00 a.m.
and
noon
.
TOMANE WAXLEY ( Nicholas Opfer ):
Third son of Mr. Waxley. Tomane
is a gifted child. His talents
include drawing with charcoals and pencils, clay sculpture, singing and the
ability to eat six Hostess Twinkies at once.
Ralph Waxley, Tomane’s father, encourages only the Twinkie eating and
has forbidden art supplies of any kind inside their home.
Click here for photos
